When Svara got sick it was only a day after I had fallen sick.  I had to attend her to constant needs while also trying to recover from the flu myself.  It was not easy.  I just wanted to have some uninterrupted rest for my weary body.  But of course it doesn’t work that way when you have a baby who is sick as well!  She would only let me hold her, not Naren.  I started feeling very overwhelmed and crowded.  Even though I couldn’t physically pull away from my sick and demanding baby, I felt I needed to.  So I kind of pulled away and felt resentment that she wanted to nurse so often, that she wouldn’t let me cook a meal or take a peaceful shower.  It was not a fun few days!

I realized yesterday how I had been pulling away.  And of course by sensing that Svara was being even MORE needy.  So I decided I needed to reconnect.  Today when I spent time with Svara I did my best to be close, have lots of cuddles, eye contact, and really BE with her instead of wishing I was doing something else.  It worked.  We had a much more peaceful day and I was happier with her and myself.  Of course it didn’t hurt that she took that super long nap today and gave me a chance to unwind in the kitchen.  But still, it reminded me how important it is to really be in the present and to enjoy Svara.

I love my baby girl.


3 thoughts on “Reconnecting

  1. yes, I wish someone would have told me how hard being sick is when you have a baby… although that still would not have made it any easier I guess. To me, that is when you really earn your parenting stripes, when you are sick and having to still take care of your totally dependant kids, its hard enough being a parent when you are not sick, sheesh! Hope you are feeling better soon! Nice looking apple pie by the way, oh and this is an open invitation to come and unwind in my kitchen and make apple pies when ever you want to!!!

  2. Yes, that is exactly what happened with Lily and I the other week. It is so hard when you find yourself in that vicious cycle – you pulling away: them clinging harder. It really takes a lot of mental effort to realise that you need to actually give more at those times in order to put a positive spin on things.

  3. Honestly, being sick and taking care of a baby at the same time is the hardest thing I’ve ever done as well. It’s amazing that you were able to reconnect so quickly and easily with her.

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