When Svara got sick it was only a day after I had fallen sick. I had to attend her to constant needs while also trying to recover from the flu myself. It was not easy. I just wanted to have some uninterrupted rest for my weary body. But of course it doesn’t work that way when you have a baby who is sick as well! She would only let me hold her, not Naren. I started feeling very overwhelmed and crowded. Even though I couldn’t physically pull away from my sick and demanding baby, I felt I needed to. So I kind of pulled away and felt resentment that she wanted to nurse so often, that she wouldn’t let me cook a meal or take a peaceful shower. It was not a fun few days!
I realized yesterday how I had been pulling away. And of course by sensing that Svara was being even MORE needy. So I decided I needed to reconnect. Today when I spent time with Svara I did my best to be close, have lots of cuddles, eye contact, and really BE with her instead of wishing I was doing something else. It worked. We had a much more peaceful day and I was happier with her and myself. Of course it didn’t hurt that she took that super long nap today and gave me a chance to unwind in the kitchen. But still, it reminded me how important it is to really be in the present and to enjoy Svara.
I love my baby girl.