About three months ago Naren started taking a class given by his friend. It mostly had to do with business. He’d occasionally share with me tidbits that they were discussing at their class. One night on his way home he sent me a message saying that he found the key to success and couldn’t wait to share it with me. The next day he said that they had watched part of a documentary called The Secret and he really wanted me to watch it. So he downloaded it and we found time a few nights later to sit down together and watch it.
There are few things that have so suddenly changed my way of thinking as that film did. The funny thing is, after watching it I saw how the same message from the film was in so many other things. I had seen it, I had heard it, but it didn’t click, I didn’t believe it. Until now.
If you haven’t seen The Secret (first of all, see it!!) it is basically about the Law of Attraction. How what you think, believe, want, and focus on is what comes into your life.
I have been in kind if a negative place mentally for the past year or two. I quit my full time teaching job when Svara was 14 months old. I was so excited to finally be living my dream of a stay-at-home-mom. Naren was finally able to out more effort into his own business and he secured a large contract. He worked hard and we were rewarded. I was able to take a couple trips home to the US, we were able to have all of the things we needed plus a few luxuries, etc. That lasted about a year and a half. Then we hit a rough patch. The rough patch has lasted 4 years. We survived. We scrimped, sold things, made do. Had many rough months, had some pretty good months. I stressed. I always stressed. I thought about how little we had, wondered how we were going to pay bills, lamented over what I needed and did not have, wanted to know when it was going to end.
Not everything was rough these 4 years. We had some great times as a family, had another baby, I started my businesses, etc. But I was often very stressed. We always had enough money for groceries, rent, the bare necessities, and I always believed that God would take care of us.
After watching The Secret I realize that the reason we never had enough was because I was always focusing on not having enough. I learns that if you instead focus on being grateful for what you DO have, and think positively about what you DO want, and truly believe and are ready to accept it, the change will come. It is like “placing your order for what you want from the Universe”. I see that because I believed that God would always make sure we had food and a roof over our heads, we did. I have changed that and now I believe that God will provide us with what we need AND what we want. We don’t want a lot, but I DO want certain things which I now believe I deserve. I deserve to have a computer to do my work, proper shelving for homeschooling, be able to buy all the organic ingredients that are healthier for my family, etc. etc. Why not?
I started feeling more positive immediately after watching The Secret. I now spend each day thinking about what I am grateful for. I also spend time thinking positively about the way we would like our life to be. For example, I am known to lament and say “aaaaaahhh, this house is so messy!!!!” So I changed that. Instead, when I enter a room I first notice something good about the room. I then imagine something better about the room. For example, as I pass through the kitchen I’ll imagine that the dishes are done and the counter is cleared. I’ll think about it in a positive way. And honestly, a short while later I somehow find myself at the sink doing the dishes. My house is not where I want it yet, but it’s getting better and I don’t feel so badly about it.
I never saw the point of making goals before, especially business goals. Why should I make the goal of making a certain amount of money? How can I help it if it isn’t met? I’ll just feel bad. I now know that if I think about feeling bad, I WILL feel bad. I must think positively. So I immediately made a goal for my etsy shop. And I almost met that goal by the end of the month, and it was more than I had made in any month in my etsy shop before. The next month I surpassed that goal!!! It works!!! I have the same goal for this month. I’m not there yet, but I will get there!!
It’s not easy to change my way of thinking. Part of it was ingrained upon me as I grew up. And part of it is just from these past few rough years. But I have seen some great changes in thr past couple months and I now have faith that we can accomplish our life goals. We don’t have to fester, we can get there!! Everyone in the world has different goals, and everyone can accomplish them. We just have to truly believe. It’s hard to change my way of thinking, but as I see results it becomes easier. I have also started teaching Svara some things about positive thinking. I think my negative thinking has kind of rubbed off on her, but she is young so she can turn around 🙂 I want her to know that she can do anything!
Another way this has affected me is in how I think about my actions, and in my marriage. I often would have thoughts like “I better do ______ or Naren is going to be mad at me” (the blank is for things like do the dishes, clear the table, etc,). And then I feel resentment towards him, I work hard, why does he have to feel badly about me not doing this or that? I now see that those were just my thoughts reflecting back to me about myself, I was just attributing them to him. Now that I I ahead focus my thoughts on what I am grateful for and think positively about what I want, those thoughts have just naturally faded away.
I still have some days that are harder than others. Some days I’m more tired and it doesn’t come as easily. Recently we really had our hopes up about a job and I really truly believed that the next week I was going to get my computer. It didn’t happen. It’s a bummer. But I take it as a test. I will not take away my hope, my belief that I WILL get what I want.
Part of me finds this tough because of the balance between spiritual and material. Spiritual is MUCH more important to me. It is lasting. It is who we ARE. So why should I WANT? Why should I HAVE more than the bare necessities? On the other hand, if I have nice things (and I’m talking Ikea, not Prada) my house will be more organized and I’ll feel better. I can invite people over and feel good about it. I can get homeschooling done and not stress so much about it. I can find MORE time to be calm, MORE time to teach my children spiritual things. There CAN be a balance. I don’t have to wear torn shirts to be spiritual. I CAN have an air conditioner in my living room and still be spiritual. This is still tough for me, but I am getting over the hurdle. God made this world and created man to make discoveries. I can use these discoveries and inventions for GOOD things. It is NOT a hindrance to my spirituality to have nice things. It can HELP my spiritual life to have the things that I want and need.
I am writing this out so that I can look back in a couple of months and see where I started and where I am then.
I am so thankful that this message finally got across to me. That I now realize that all I need to do is focus on positive things and positive things will come my way.
Come my way, I am ready for you, universe, I have placed my order!!